Should You Stay – Or Should You Leave?

Oh, how exhausting it is to be in relationship limbo!

You’ve got this dream of what an amazing relationship should be like. And some of the time, this person you’re with ticks the boxes. You’re feeling connected, you’re having fun, you’re going places.

But then you hit the pain of not feeling seen, known or appreciated. Or you feel they’re not making the effort. Or that they’re not matched with you sexually or spiritually, or not aligned with your values and vision for a future.

And it all gets so confusing.

Is this the right person but your “stuff” is getting in the way?

Is some incompatibility normal, or a sign to move on?

These words are for you if you’re with a great person but you’re just not sure if they’re the right match.

Instead of being able to rest into a sense of home, you’re feeling the constant drag of indecision and uncertainty.

Instead of enjoying quality time together, you’re preoccupied with doubts and concerns.

Instead of laughter and connection, there’s so much mental energy being consumed with the relentless back-and-forth.

If you’re holding back, how can you get a realistic sense of whether it’s wise to stay – or  better to leave?

How can you know whether this is the place to commit with all you’ve got – or whether your heart and dreams are safer elsewhere?

And maybe on top of all this, you have the sense of a clock ticking.

If you want children, you’ve got the additional pressure of trying to figure out whether this is the right person to have a family with.

Or if you already have children, you may be cautious about whether this is the right step-parent for them.

This constant stress is detracting from any joy this relationship holds for you & making it even harder to make a decision.

Bench to sit and contemplate: should I stay or should I leave?Here’s what I want for you:

I want you to feel fully equipped to make the right decision – a decision you won’t regret – so you can get on and enjoy life.

I want you to have the opportunity to thoroughly explore this with a professional. As well-meaning as your friends or family members are, they (understandably) have their own opinions and agendas.

I want you to have full confidentiality to explore the intensely private aspects – for example, around sex – that you’ve been wanting to talk about for ages but haven’t (yet) felt comfortable about.

I want you to be able to work this through with someone who’ll see through your stories, call out your bullshit, and ask you the questions no-one else will dare.

I want you to have the peace of knowing what to do next.

Me and my approach

– I’m Corrina Gordon-Barnes: a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC). My training, with the Coaches Training Institute (CTI), is accredited with the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

– I have 11 years experience supporting clients one-to-one.

– I’m an experienced facilitator of The Work Of Byron Katie.

– I spent many years in relationship limbo. For more of my story, read here. The only thing that truly helped was inquiry: a systematic, robust and rigorous process for questioning my judgements, assumptions, underlying beliefs and fears.

– I now share this process of inquiry one-to-one. Sessions are via phone or Skype (audio) which is easy to schedule, removes travel time, and allows for deep personal work.

Jenny Warila

I had absolutely no hesitation. I trusted you and a recommendation from a previous client of yours sealed the deal.

Thank you for our work together! What a difference it has made. It sounds dramatic, but it’s definitely true: I am no longer suffering.

Before our sessions, I was emotionally off-balance, struggling to feel grounded and in charge of my emotional and energetic state. I was suffering. After our work together, the angst, the pain, has evaporated. I am confidently in this new place of stability and peace.

I’d recommend this to anyone who’s struggling to feel empowered in a relationship. It is possible to stop getting hooked, getting triggered. It is possible to suffer less. 

Jenny Warila California

Taking the first step

I understand that it can be daunting to take the first step. You may not know me, you may be unfamiliar with my approach. This is why we’ll start with a 60-minute conversation via phone or Skype (audio) – it’s free, with no obligation to continue.

During this time, you’ll have the chance to describe your situation (which can be very helpful in and of itself) and ask questions. We’ll then see whether my support is the best fit for you.

Enter your details in this form and I’ll reply to set up a time.

Lisa Hart

The price felt high but I was willing to do it because of where I was.

The work was an opportunity to shift my focus from him (what he was or was not doing — which had been preoccupying me to the point of distraction), to me – to notice my  judgments and the impact those thoughts have on my feelings.

I’m feeling energized, productive and calmer. It’s as if I’ve found my way back home, to myself, after waiting around for something to shift “over there” in his world.

I’d recommend this to anyone willing to take responsibility for their experience in the world. This is profound and powerful work that can create peace, internally and with others.

If you’re willing to challenge ingrained thoughts and attitudes, sign up! I’m glad I did.

Lisa Hart New York City

"How does it work & what’s the price?"

You’ll have 9 hours of sessions. It’s up to you how you schedule these within a 3-month period.

Some people love to dive in so they schedule a 3-day intensive. You’ll have two 90-minute sessions each day and enjoy a private virtual retreat from the comfort of your own home. This is perfect if you’ve reached a time-sensitive decision point, don’t want this back-and-forth to drag out, or if you prefer immersive work.

Others prefer a 3-month journey. This is ongoing support, embedded in the daily realities of this relationship. You’ll have three 1-hour sessions each month for three months.

And then there’s every pace in between. For example, you could choose three separate retreat days, each one week apart, or you could do a 1-hour session each day for 9 consecutive days.

In our initial consultation, we’ll discuss which format will be the best fit for you.

Price: £900. You can make a single payment or choose three instalments of £300.

"How much is that in my currency?"

Use this currency converter to calculate the exchange rate between British Pound Sterling (£) and your currency.

"Does the other person need to be involved?"

No. One of the unique characteristics of this approach is that it’s a one-person journey: yours.

(If the other person would also like to work with me one-to-one, they can contact me directly.  With this approach, there is no conflict of interest.)

"Is this therapy?"

No. This is not therapy or counselling.

I’m a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) sharing the process of inquiry.

"I’ve spent so long feeling undecided. How can this possibly work?"

Unquestioned judgements, assumptions, underlying beliefs and fears block our ability to make clear, solid decisions.

Through systematically and thoroughly questioning these thoughts, you’re resolving the source of your indecision – and setting yourself free.